Couples Coaching Book

Couples Coaching

My unconventional relationship path has led me to a fascination (obsession) with relationships—of many kinds. I’ve spent the last three decades studying and working with pairs—friends, lovers, spouses, siblings, parents and kids, and business partners (where the connection, complexity and conflict can be just as intense as in a marriage). I’ve developed and honed facilitation methods that help people bring increased awareness, actionable skills and greater satisfaction to their relationships.

I know what it is to feel like your relationship is impossibly stuck, that your conflicts are intractable or that you have failed, again. I know what it is to think you’ve chosen poorly, or that you are lousy at love or friendship. I wrote a hybrid memoir/self-help book about relationships, with the goal of bringing my hard-earned wisdom, gained from my personal life and from my decades of practice, to audiences beyond the walls of my workshops and zoom screens.  

I find every couple—whether freshly enamored or hopelessly stuck—interesting, even when I’ve seen the pattern hundreds of times. And I know what to do to help.


RELATIONSHIP THEMES

Couples often ask where to begin. My answer: Wherever you are stuck or mad or sad.  Some typical themes:

  • Conflict: Navigating through, and ultimately transforming it

  • Communication: Knowing how to assert AND listen; getting aligned between what you say and what your body says

  • Triggers: Knowing how they impact you and your partner

  • Power: Learning to use your powers and privileges to uplift your relationship

  • Social Issues and Oppressions: Understanding the impact of gender, class, race, health, religion, ability, age, etc. on intimacy

  • Addictions: Working through the impact of substance and behavioral addictions; navigating codependency

  • Sex: Finding meaning and purpose in disturbance and mismatch; rekindling desire

  • Infidelity and betrayal: How (and if) to get through

  • Transitions and decisions: Splitting up, separating, having a baby, an adult child moving back home, opening up to polyamory or non-monogamy, creating contracts and commitments

 
 
Testimonials

“With Jan’s guidance on how to communicate, day-to-day issues and disagreements become points of connection and growth, rather than points of resentment and anxiety. She helps us empathize with each other and love each other better. We’re incredibly grateful!”

-Couple, About to get married

“After years of struggle, my ex and I had accumulated so much pain and animosity, we thought for sure we would end up in a messy, expensive divorce. Jan’s precision, clarity and heartfulness allowed us to cut through the BS and rediscover what we had lost. I only wish we had found her sooner.”

-Empty nester couple

“Jan has the capacity to see us with clarity and confront us with heart. Her expertise in relational power and rank has been particularly helpful for us as we unpack our biases.”

-Somatic Practitioner couple

JAN HAS BEEN FEATURED ON

 Let’s get started