Well, I did it. I wrote a book.
I’m thrilled to announce that Make Love Better: How to Own Your Story, Connect with Your Partner and Deepen Your Relationship Practice is now available. You can purchase it here, or on Amazon and in stores November 1, 2019.
In March 2017, my last blog post, Digging In, announced I would be taking a break from blogging. At that time, I realized that my background motivation for blogging was
… to get me into a writing habit and prepare me to embark on a larger project. There’s been a book brewing for over a decade, but I’ve been busy working in the world and managing the vicissitudes of my unruly psyche. I haven’t made the time or allowed myself the extended stints of introversion that it takes to sit down and extract it from my heart and brain and from the depths of me.
… and now I’m settling in.
At the time, I was dreaming a lot about cycling, my passion sport. In my dreams, I pedaled up impossible vertical hills—sweaty, focused, butt plastered to the seat. If I stood up, I’d teeter and fall before I made it over the mountain. The dreams were telling me this: If I wanted to write an entire book, I would have to do what felt like the impossible. I’d have to dig deep, stay on task, believe in what I know, and find and trust my voice. The journey would probably have steep learning, potholes-a-plenty, and maybe occasional wind at my back. But I’d be fueled by my burning desire to shared what I know about relationships—in heart and head—with you.
What I didn’t know: As solitary as writing is, I would not do it alone. It would take a village of inner and outer allies, ones who would speak truthfully and challenge directly. I am grateful to Lisa Blair and David Bedrick of Belly Song Press, to my very skilled editors and designers, and to the many readers of early drafts, who kindly and pointedly helped me figure out how to weave my personal story, case studies and relationship theories into a coherent, engaging and practically useful read. I am grateful to Dr. Arnold Mindell, founder of Process Work, whose pioneering work provides the scaffold and ground for my own. Without its powerful usable tools and devotion to dreaming, I would have had little about which to write. And I am grateful to my husband Jerry Grant. Without his fierce support, I might still be dawdling in unfulfilled promises to self, both romantic and creative. As far as I’m concerned, this business about providing all the love and support for oneself—from inside—is bullshit.
So here I am, on the other side of the mountain. And now I have a reason to post more frequently. In order to reach a wider audience—to get these tools and attitudes in the hands of the many people struggling in relationship—I need to be visible, to build my platform, to really put myself out there. So, I will do my best to climb this next steep hill.
In the meantime, hallelujah!